Bedtime Story – Part 2

She wanted him. It had only been an hour since their climax, but she wanted more, needed to be filled again. She felt her lady parts turn hot and swell with need. Speaking of need, she could tell from the stiffness poking her backside that he needed more too.

Slipping back out of her had nearly set him off again, and with the weakness in his muscles he’d left himself just as vulnerable. With her fur slowly sliding over his length with just the movement it took to breathe, he shivered, poking her again, breathing shallowly. “So… hot,” he murmured, wrapping arms around her from behind, carefully angling himself to slide back in with a deep rumble. “If we’re not careful we’ll be at it ’till daybreak,” he half-joked.

“Mmm, you make it sound like that’s a bad thing, and that my love, is where I would have to disagree.” she announced teasingly. She rolled herself over so that she could kiss him, smile at him, and kiss him more. While kissing, she reached her right paw under the covers and began stroking his ever hard maleness.

“Mmh… These are good plans,” he moaned lightly, her grip quickly returning him to full strength, lightly sliding against it, kissing her right back, breath heavy.

“Mmm, glad we agree. Now, how would you like it?” She asked, grinning mischievously, giving him a feel of all three. First gently stroking his cock, then carefully taking it into her mouth and massaging the tip with her tongue. Lastly, she rubbed it near her aching and waiting lady parts. Oh, she wanted to suck him, to taste his seed, but she wanted him to choose.

He laid still as she moved, rumbling as she tested him, length twitching with each touch, bucking lightly from each. “Ooh… I think… you suckling it,” he concluded, curling to hug her from behind yet keep himself offered, stiff and lightly flexing with need.

“Ooo, good choice my love,” she said softly as she scooted down further to better situate herself for her favorite task at hand (er, mouth). She got a light grip on his lower shaft and bent her head down onto his quivering member, giving the tip a teasing flick with her tongue, then circling it to get it nice and wet.

He shivered, between grasp and lick, body warming up quickly, need growing. For a moment he tried to curl fully around, using his serpentine shape, then at one brush found himself sprawled out, murring deeply and trying not to buck too hard, a shot of pre rewarding her efforts. “Mmm…”

Once his throbbing tip was nice and wet, she slowly took it, inch by inch, deeper into her mouth. As it slid deeper, she sucked the tip and swirled her tongue around the shaft and head, giving him a satisfying tease.

One hand reached to her shoulder as he tensed up along his body, closing his eyes tightly. “Mmmmm, so hot…” he murmured, lightly sliding himself against her attentions, pre flowing more with the tease as he inhaled sharply.

“Ooo, you have such a nice cock,” she breathed to him. Firming her left paw’s grip on his lower shaft only slightly, she began slowly bobbing her head up and down the rest of his hardness. Slowly and steadily she increased her pace, building a rhythm for herself.

He found himself panting, gripping her shoulder tightly as he tensed, eyes tightly shut, body pulsing and flexing until the teases allowed him to break through. “Ghh, that’s it love… Ah!” He struggled to hold still as he peaked, filling her mouth with his thick seed.

Bedtime Story – Part 1

When Will and I were together, he had a thing for furry stuff, which eventually turned into a sexual hang up for him. He could not be turned on mentally unless he pictured furry/pokemon type scenes, instead of being turned on by me alone. I helped fix that by cybering (before we moved in together) with him and after we moved in together, we would each take turns writing a scene on my phone as we lay in bed together. That usually got him in the mood. I have his permission to post these. Since I have run out of things that I want to write about, here they are. This is part one. I believe there are five. Keep in mind the basic setting if furry/pokemon type, and a few were done on a MUCK client called Pokemon Fusion (Pokemon fuse with human). I hate that place for other reasons, but like the few stories we made.

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It had been some time since his sweetheart had been truly his, some time since his coils had held her helpless in the grass, either hand gripping a pillowy breast, leaving her room to breathe and struggle but not escape, fangs poised against her neck from above…

She loved it when he held her down like this, loved being dominated by him. Hell, she just loved him and gave herself completely to him. As he held the tiger bitch down she wrapped her back paws around him, pulling them closer together.

“Gods you’re hot, girl,” he had hissed, sure to let his tongue tickle through and beneath her neck fur. He’d shifted to slide his body fully along her back, his textured scales rubbing from along her belly to beneath her tail, obviously trying to tease and warm her up. All the while he’d held that same slight grin, drunk with the power she allowed him.

She loved it when he teased her like this. It never failed to make her ready for him in seconds. She loved the thrill of having him there so close to her, not knowing what he was gonna do next, or how far he would take it. Sometimes he gave her just enough tease to make her want him more, but most of the time he followed through with what he started. She wanted him, was ready for him. She moaned with pleasure and need. “Please,” she said, “I need you inside me soon. I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s been so long, and too long at that.”

Hearing her moans, her need, he grinned wider, tightening his coils a bit, then relaxing them, revealing that his need had grown just as much, pressing against the base of her tail, sliding along her bare skin. “How badly…?” he rumbled, though they both knew it was too late to put it off any longer, and with a sharp grunt and tight coil, he pressed himself deep, closing his eyes and reveling in the beginnings of feelings they’d both gone too far without.

The instant he slid inside her was the instant her body gave way completely. She melted around him and tightened around him. She flexed a few times, giving him a gentle squeezing tease. “Oh, yes, right there,” she moaned as she thrust her hips upward to take even more of him in.

He allowed himself a deep moan, eyes half-closing as his fingers, coils, and maleness took deep purchase, letting himself embrace being laid so bare in his brutal dominance of his tiger bitch, quickly fitting his body flush to hers. At her movements he released his grip a bit, allowing her to work him so, enjoying how her body could make him feel again after so long.

She began a rhythmic grinding of her hips, moaning each time he went deeper inside. It was amazing how fully satisfied he made her, inside and out.

Soon he laid almost completely still, testing her strength, groaning with the tight grip around his power, heat rising quickly. With how long it had been, he wouldn’t need much. “Gods, I’d forgotten…” He shifted, dragging his muzzle against her chin, groaning into her throat, needing this hold.

“Mmmm, you feel so good,” she moaned softly. She could feel the pressure deep inside her building, and she knew it wouldn’t take much longer for her to reach climax.

Unable to keep himself from flexing against her strength the serpent renewed his grip with a loud grunt, closing his eyes and twisting himself to thrust again into her, shaft straining to contain the building pressure. “Ahh… Can’t hold it… any longer…!” he groaned, unable to resist the full, powerful wrench of his entire body as he gave in and bit down on her neck, thick seed shooting against her eggs.

At his thrust she wrapped her front paws around his back, being careful of her claws. Tilting her neck to the side to welcome his love nip, she let out a deep moan. Her body had reached its full climax as she tightened her grip around his filling manhood.

For a moment they were completely alone save to each other, their bodies tightened around each other as their peaks mingled into a moment of bliss for them both. He seemed to relax first, trembling softly, keeping his eyes closed, hands gripping her shoulders. “Mmh, mm…

 

Romance

I thought I was going to marry Will. I figured I had done all the single-life experimenting that I needed to do. I was pissed when he dumped me because I hated the idea of having to learn to trust someone all over again. I figured I would have to wait months, maybe years, before I was completely comfortable with someone again.

However, despite all that, I realized what I have to look forward to in my next relationship.

One of my favorite things in new romance is that beginning honeymoon stage. The part where all you see is each other. A couple of weeks ago I saw a couple in the bar we were cleaning. It was obvious they were on a date and SO into each other. They were holding hands, smiling into each others eyes, and giving sweet kisses all over (necks, cheeks, forehead, etc). I was almost jealous. I look forward to having that with someone again.

Being single again gives me the chance to date. I have never really been on a true date. Relationships always just kind of happened with me, and so I never got to go on multiple dates with multiple people. I look forward to dating this time (ha, if someone will just take me out).

Will was not a very sexual guy. I look forward to having a normal sexual relationship with someone. Like a fuck buddy, but this time with the emotional attachments. I would choose a relationship over a fuck buddy any day.

I look forward to learning a person inside and out. I look forward to them doing the same with me. I always love those first moments, like first kiss, first time we do something sexual, etc. Most of all though, I look forward to having romance again.

The Break Up

On October 31, 2011, Will broke up with me. He felt like I was getting in the way of his job. It started with him coming up to me on the night of the 29th and telling me that the next Friday at 6 he would be in “town.” I asked if he was going with friends, doing errands, or going out with coworkers. He told me he didn’t think he could tell me.

I began to feel pissed off, and asked if it was work related or not. He said he couldn’t tell me and stormed out. The next morning after we got off work, we began arguing. I told him that it pisses me off when he can’t tell me the littlest thing, things that seem small to me are huge to him because he takes his job too seriously. He told me that that is where I go wrong, and that I need to quit thinking about his job like that.

To prove a point, he told me he was going on a hot sate that night. I felt like I hated him at that moment. He knew that cheating is the one thing I have no tolerance for. He seemed to think this would help him prove his point that “I make him feel like hes cheating on me sometimes.” What the fuck does that mean? Who the hell does that?

Since I could no longer talk, I was so furious in tears, he made pancakes for us, humming happily to himself. Things seemed fine, with him at least. We ate, took a shower together, and went to sleep. Well, he went to sleep. I kept crying. I cried myself to sleep, I woke up crying. When he woke up for the day, I was still crying and he went into the computer room to play his games. I stayed in bed and cried until it was almost time to go to work.

I finally went into the room where he was, to tell him I was worried about us. He said there was nothing to worry about, that he would never leave me. I told him I wasn’t so sure. He hugged me and I broke down again. I told him I would be ok once Friday was over with. He told me not to do anything drastic until then. “Like what, pack my shit and move out?” I asked bitterly. He said “Yes, like that.”

We got dressed and went to work. During work, I started to feel ok. I began to tell myself he wouldn’t do this to us if it wasn’t work related. I was feeling really good about things by the time work was over. However, he was mad again. He told me on the way home he was going to sleep in the spare room to think things over.

When we got home, I was crying again, trying to reason with him. We still undressed each other, we still took our shower together, but instead of getting in bed together, I left and went to my mom’s to sleep. I didn’t sleep at all that day. I spent the day crying, worrying that I was going to lose him.

He finally called for me to go home. He told me over the phone that he thought things over and decided that we did need to break up. I cried. I begged for him to take me back. I felt pathetic. He said he wanted to stay friends, and try to stay room mates. I told him it would be hard, but I was willing to give it a try.

Living with your ex is not easy. It was hard doing stuff separately rather than together (undressing, showering, cooking, etc). Once in a while old habits would sneak up on us though. We would find ourselves in a kiss, or exchanging I love you’s. It hurt a lot when I walked in the spare room to use the bathroom and I saw him jerking off. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. That used to be my job to get him off (a different post, I promise). However, harder than all of that, was watching him fall out of love with me so easily.

He really did feel like I was making him choose between me or his job. His coworkers asked about us soon after the break up. I told them what happened. They all called him an idiot, and told me it was a dinner for their department. Just because he couldn’t invite me didn’t mean he couldn’t tell me about it. I told him I knew it was a dinner, and he freaked out and told me we had no chance together, ever after that. That day when he woke up he went out to find his own place.

I ended up packing his shit, because he was too lazy playing on his computer to do it himself. It was hard to see him go, but at the same time it was a relief. I ended up asking myself why I was having such a hard time letting go, when in all honesty I haven’t been that happy with him that last few months. I always felt like his computer was more important, and our sex life was shaky to begin with. That was when I really started letting go.

We are trying to stay friends, though its hard. I always dread seeing him at work, and I hate it when he has mail still come here sometimes, meaning he has to come and get it. However, I end up enjoying his company more than I thought I would, though I feel worse all over again after he leaves.

For a while I hated sleeping because all I did was dream that we were back together, then woke up realizing how alone I was. I don’t dream about him so much anymore. Its easier to sleep, and I am starting to enjoy that I don’t have to clean up after anyone but myself.

Update Again

I had a post written, but then highlighted it and pressed delete. I just couldn’t post it, it was just a little too personal. Plus, I was pretty upset when I started it the other night, and by the time I finally finished it tonight I was over it. Who knows, the issue might come up again and I might be more compelled to write about it again, but for now, I am just peachy. (Wow, I can’t believe I just said that…)

On a lighter note, sad to say, I had to take the nipple piercings out in June. I had them for little over a year, but yet they still did not feel quite completely healed, and itched like crazy. If it wasn’t for Will, I probably would have stuck it out, but since I knew the piercings were a turn off to him, I decided to take them out.

On an even better note, I have noticed that my mom and I get along a lot better since I have moved out. We never did communicate well when I lived there, and when I was there I always shut myself up in my room. However, I find myself stopping by more often. We can talk now without getting into some stupid argument, it’s nice.

Also, look forward to some posts featuring erotica. Some entries will be from real hook ups, others imagination. I look forward to writing them, though the ones from memory will be a little bit harder to write, since they happened over a year ago. (Yes, it has been that long for any type of naughtiness in my life).

Speaking of naughty, the other night when I was going through past posts, getting ideas, refreshing my memory one some things, I came across a very interesting post. In this post, I talked about placing my free hand on my throat at the start of an orgasm and how much more intense it made everything. I tried that again that night, and it was everything I imagined it would be and more. Let’s just hope I don’t give myself marks or actually hurt myself.

Love

Don’t get me wrong, I may have come off a little strong last post. I am cooling off about my little discovery. It’s not like he did anything in real life behind my back. Whatever, I am getting over it.

I love Will, so much, with all of my heart and soul. As sexually frustrated I may get most of the time, he saved me from going down a very bad road. Without him, I am 95% sure I would have ended up pregnant or with an STD of some sort.

Yes, I used protection, but shit happens. As careful as I was, I could have been more careful. A couple of times condoms fell off. I was just lucky enough to have started birth control a month before that happened.

Will has changed me so much, and all for the better. In two weeks will be our one year anniversary. It has been the best year of my life. He is my longest relationship. I see myself marrying this guy, settling kids, and raising a family.

This may sound really cliché, but I didn’t really know what love was until I found Will.

Insulted

I am really excited about coming back to blogging, or at least trying to keep things regular on here. I think I completely lost my readers, which is understandable for being gone so long. I now must start over. I can’t guarantee that what I have to say will be very interesting, nor will it have much naughty stuff, but I need this outlet back.

You see, the other night I was browsing through Will’s old role playing chat logs and I came across something very upsetting to me, something that I am still debating on whether or not I should mention to him. I think for now I am gonna be quiet about what I saw, because first off I did not have permission to be there, so it was my fault for being nosy.

So, what did I find? Almost every single RP session had at least one cyber-like scene that he did. This pisses me off for several reasons. Number one, he said he had stopped doing that. Number two, I felt insulted, because I had asked to do that with him before and after we did that once, and he was never interested. Turns out those nights he was in such a hurry to get home, he ended up cybering. I almost feel like he cheated on me. There was one particular chat/cyber session that he had that that night he said he would do it with me. He kept putting it off so much that night, waiting for me to go to bed, and as soon as I logged off, he started cybering with some random person. That hurts so much.

Now, he has not been on said RP place since July, a month before we moved in together, but he said long before that that he was not into what these people wanted, the cybering. He told me they always started to try and he would tell them no. Lies. He let them continue, and even joined in himself.

I feel so insulted. I mean, I looked up to this guy so much, pretty much put him on a pedestal, admiring his self control (as frustrated as I may get sometimes), and yet here he was going behind my back the whole time. I will admit he does not go to the RP place anymore, but still, he lied when he was doing it. That hurts.

This is what made me decide to come back into the blogging world, at least for now. I missed it like crazy for one thing. I also feel like I missed and wasted a bunch of time by not doing it. I quit doing all things naughty, thinking of all things naughty, completely dropped this blog when we got together because it did not feel right. He said before that he would tell those people no cybering when we got together, that it did not feel right. Lies. So, because he seemed to have kept his outlet, I am going to bring mine back. I need it.

I also need advice. What do you think I should do? Keep quiet, or bring up the cybering? I feel like he kind of owes me at least an explanation, because I feel like I have changed for nothing, which will be another topic (probably next post) for another day.

Update and Apologies

Damn, it has been a long time since I have updated. From here on out, I cannot guarantee very much. Sadly, I have gotten out of the blogging routine. A lot has changed since I last updated, in like what, May? Damn, so much to catch up on, so I will make this brief.

In May my cousins found a car for me at a very good deal, and between my mom, them, and me promising to housesit for life, it is now mine, completely paid off. It is an ’88 Honda Accord. I love it.

In August, the day after my birthday, I moved in with Will. We found a very nice apartment with his best friend. I love it. Each day I am here, it feels more and more right.

Will is still very insistent on waiting til marriage to do anything. sometimes it drives me nuts, and I still crave that intimacy I used to have, no matter how impersonal it may have been with others… I still miss some activities. Lately I have been trying to wank those feelings away, but it has only seemed to have made my cravings more intense. That sucks.

About a month ago, Lucy snuck up behind me, got too close, and I ended up elbowing her in the mouth. As unintentional as it was, it still felt great. She has not carpooled with Will since, oh, I think June or July. You can imagine how happy I am over that.

Since June I picked up a second job, working bingo two days a week, as well as still doing janitorial. At first I loved bingo and working it, but I have come to find that I hate it. At least with the manager running it. I will not go on about it here, but I will say that my boss in there talks to me like I am five years old, making me more and more crazy, more and more desperate to get out of there. I am working on doing that as gracefully as I can.

Again, I must apologize for just kind of disappearing. Honestly, I haven’t had much to write about. Especially how this was created as a sex blog, when I was getting some. However, as of previously stated news, I am not getting any.

However, I do still owe Babeland a review for something they sent me way too long ago. I have not forgotten, I just have not had the time to post/nor test. I plan on posting that review after this post.

I will try to get back into blogging, because I am really starting to miss that outlet. And, due to certain discoveries, I may even post some never before seen stories from my year of experimenting and fun.

I sure do hope I still have some readers left. If not, it is all right, it is my fault for falling off the face of the earth.

Craving

Lately, my body has been filled with an aching need, with cravings of intimacy, wishing to feel his hand run smoothly up and down my body, eventually seeking out the parts that crave the most attention. My nipples, my clitoris, my dripping wet pussy, aching for his hard cock to fill me.

However, as much as I crave and feel I need this intimacy, I must wait. Will wants to wait, and his decision I totally respect. When he stays over, I bite my tongue to prevent myself from asking, begging for that intimacy I so feel I need.

Though I don’t regret my sex and adventure filled year before Will, I feel like it ruined me. I had gotten so used to being used, to being a turn on to someone, to helping someone get off, getting off from seeing them getting off, that it drives me nuts when Will gets his own “need” poking into my back, then rolling over to the other side, ignoring his need.

I don’t know how he does it. On one hand, I completely respect his control, his restraint, but at the same time, it makes me worry that I am not good enough. I have mentioned this to him, and hes assured me multiple times that I am good enough, he just wants to focus on other things about us besides just sex at this point, and that sex and everything else (foreplay, oral, manual, etc) can wait until marriage.

Yes, I know its not normal how he feels, especially since he is a young man in his prime. Sometimes it drives me crazy knowing he is so different, especially when all I can think about is how much I miss being touched intimately, touching and feeling someone else the same way.

Again, I respect his decision to wait. I respect it so much because I didn’t get to wait. Toby took advantage of my situation and made it so I didn’t get to wait. That last thread of virginity was lost to Toby without my consent. I don’t want to do to Will what Toby (and anyone else) did to me. I do know that if the sex hadn’t happened with Toby, I wouldn’t have had sex with anyone else, meaning Will could be my first. You have no idea how much I wish he could be my first.

Last night Will had an offer for me though. He wanted to cyber. You know me, I was more than eager to at the idea. I asked if he wanted to involve webcams, and he said no. Okay fine, I can handle that (as much as I would have loved to see him jack himself off). So, we got to work, and wrote something so erotic, so arousing, that I was able to cum 3 times. I could have went more, but I ended up (accidentally) killing the moment.

You see, I like detail. I like to know what I am doing for the other person. I like to know what they are doing to themselves (especially if there are no webcams). Caught up in the moment and out of pure habit, forgetting who I was talking to, I asked him how many times our “session” got him off. He said he did not want to discuss that. Right, I forgot that subject was off limits to him, as he feels that is a very personal and private activity. I apologized, and he changed the subject. He soon went to bed.

I went to bed feeling very satisfied, our “scene” repeating itself over and over in my head. Everything we “did” in that scene I was able to picture so clearly, it was like it had actually happened. I look forward to the day when he finally does want to make love to me.  I may have went to bed feeling satisfied, with images of us making animalistic love (with a feeling of guilt for ruining the moment), I also woke up a very horny and frustrated female; a female with needs and cravings even stronger than before.

All day our “scene” played over and over in my head, and all day that wetness between my legs tingled and throbbed, seeking attention. As of right now, I can only sit and fantasize, reminding myself that patience is a virtue. I have two sets of batteries charging, with the plan of hopefully wanking my frustration out of me.

All in all, I know that what Will and I have is special, and from what I have seen, what we did try once, it is also beautiful. I can only wait for the day when I can see how much more beautiful and passionate things can get. As I said before, I don’t regret the things I learned in the year before Will, but I do feel disheartened at the fact that those events ruined me, gave me a reputation, and taught me what I am missing for now. However, I do know what I can look forward to, as far away as the day seems.

Selfish Bitch

Yes, that’s right, I feel like a selfish bitch.  Why, you are probably wondering, am I using such harsh words (and updating for that matter…)? Well, here goes. I am updating because this is a place that I know I can vent, especially when my friends are tired of hearing about my selfishness issues.

So, what am I feeling so damn selfish about? My man and the time I get to spend with him. You see, a few months back he came over, and as we were cooking dinner together, he informed me he was going to start carpooling (as in him giving a ride to and from work) with a girl in my department. I gave a short “ahh, ok?” when in my head I was irritated as hell.
I decided to let it go, as much as I could because I knew if I said something about how much I hated the idea, he might feel or think that I don’t trust him. Which in fact I trust both of them. I trust him and how much he loves me by the way he looks in my eyes, and I trust her because of how much she goes off about her boyfriend.

So, if I trust them both, what’s my problem? I will tell you. I will warn you though, its complete bullshit reasons that boil down to my selfishness. I thought it was jealousy, and maybe a part of it is, but the most of it is selfishness. I don’t want to share my man; in any way, even if it is strictly work related.

My reasoning for this is several reasons (all based on my selfishness I assume): Number one, he works graveyard shift, and I am on day shift. This means that our time together is very limited, so we only see each other once a week. I love my time with him, but really wish it was more. It used to be more until the carpooling started. Secondly, she lives on the other side of town from him, making picking up and dropping her off an extra twenty minutes out of his way to do so.

This is time that we used to spend together, either in person or on the phone. After school I used to stop by his place once he woke up and he would drive me home on his way to work. There is not enough room in the pick-up for her and me. (I do not say that in a derogatory way (maybe a little) but really, there is not enough room).

However, a month ago they changed his shift to swing. I was tickled pink. This meant more time with him, as in almost every day, AND he wasn’t carpooling with HER anymore. (I will call her Lucy).

So, the other night was his first night back on graveyard shift.  I asked him if he was gonna be carpooling again. Of course, the answer was yes. I let it stew for a few days, knowing I needed to say something, but not wanting to make it sound like it was a trust issue. The other night I ended up voicing my concern of how does he expect we can spend more time together like he said if he is going to be carpooling. He thought about it for a second, but then just kind of shrugged it off, saying its “only three of the five days he works, two of which I stay at my cousins.” *Sigh*… he probably does have a point, but the first night he drives her is my night off, and the second night I used to get a ride with him to my cousin’s, leaving the last night fair game.

I really wish I could stop thinking about how much it bugs me. The more I think about it, the more I want to break something; its pure selfishness. This situation and me venting about it has caused me to get some major instant bad karma as well. The stories are actually kind of funny. Yes, I do believe in karma.

The first time I noticed karma get me was when they first started carpooling, one of the toilets on shift kept flooding, making her night miserable. I got a kick out of her bad night. The next day karma got me by her mentioning several times about my boyfriend, i.e. things they have in common, her happy to go home soon, glad he was getting off soon, etc.

The other day I was venting to a friend about the carpooling starting up again, and as soon as I brought up my selfish reasons on why I hate the idea, I slipped and fell on my ass. Yes it hurt, my ass is bruised, but it was funny and awesome timing. I stopped venting for the time being.

I began venting to someone again today, and then he called, saying he was going to stop by on his way to work tonight to get something. He made it a point to mention it would be slightly later because he has to pick Lucy up first. I really wish I had waited to say something about him picking up what he needed until this weekend when I would not be home. That way I would not have to see her in his pickup, or them driving off together. Just typing this irks me, because as I type, he’s leaving to go pick her up.

One of these days when I run into her at work, I would love to ask her how she would feel if her boyfriend gave another girl a ride to work, especially if it meant that their time together would be cut down to once a week of seeing each other.

However, I know if I do say something to her, it would get back to my boyfriend some how, or worse yet, they would think I don’t trust them; which leaves me back at square one.

So I ask you dear readers (the few that I believe I still have left), how do I get this out of my mind? How can I get over my selfishness? I really don’t like this angry feeling I get when I think about it. I feel childish and bitchy. Please help with any advice. I am sure someone has been in a similar situation.