Whats Going on in My Life (Or Not)

I apologize for the lack of real life updating and naughty stories. Sadly, my life is not the exciting anymore. I haven’t heard from D since March, so I kind of gave up on him. I think he found someone new to play with and just doesn’t want to tell me. Whatever, I don’t care. As good as sex was with him, and with how sexy he made me feel, his penis was so damn big that it ripped my vagina every time.

Things with CB are a little slowed down. We did meet up for coffee the other day, because he had some errands to run in a neighboring town. It was kind of awkward, and I didn’t feel like we had much to talk about. We only spent about 15 minutes together in total. He was trying to get me to go eat with him, but I had dinner plans with my room mate for after. He showed me his pick up, which I found totally sexy. I love big pick ups. We still kind of sext, but don’t really have much phone sex anymore. He told me I had gorgeous eyes, and he found me really sexy. He was pretty damn hot himself. Total country boy, I loved it.

The back up guy (that I only kind of mentioned in passing) turned out to be a total flake. HE would say “Oh, lets meet up,” then I would not hear from him until a week later.

I answered a guy’s CL ad the other day, since he seemed pretty cool. I feel like a bitch saying it, but hes the total opposite. I am sure he is a really nice guy once you get to know him, but hes depressing as hell. He is always talking about how lonely he is, and how depressed he is. I feel bad for him, and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I don’t know how much longer I can take it.

It has been over two months since I had sex. I miss it. A lot. I miss it so much that on my weekends, when I am bored and alone, I consider texting Toby. I just really don’t want to go there again.

So, I apologize for my lack of updates, but I just don’t have anything sexy to write about. Do stay tuned though, because I am actually writing a very sexy story with one of my twitter followers. I am looking forward to seeing where it goes. I will definitely post it (with his permission) when it is complete. I also will be receiving a book in the mail to review on here written by Shanna Katz.

Update: A Little Bit of Everything

I apologize for my lack of posting. I really have no excuse, other than pure laziness (and lack of motivation). I have plenty of ideas noted to write about, so it wasn’t a lack of things to write about. I admit, I was mostly unmotivated because I was thinking “what’s the point, no one reads?” but then I checked my site counter, and it seems I had a lot of visitors in the past week. That motivated me, so here I am.

Like I said, I have a list of things to write about. Unfortunately they are mostly just thoughts and feelings, no naughty stories yet. Some things to look forward to in upcoming posts are:

-Foreskin (my thoughts and experiences with it)
-Open relationships
-The type of guys that attract me as boyfriend material
-Why I hate the phrase “my bad”
-A random proposition I had
-A tattoo idea I had

Again, I apologize for not posting. I will try to do better.

Update Again

I had a post written, but then highlighted it and pressed delete. I just couldn’t post it, it was just a little too personal. Plus, I was pretty upset when I started it the other night, and by the time I finally finished it tonight I was over it. Who knows, the issue might come up again and I might be more compelled to write about it again, but for now, I am just peachy. (Wow, I can’t believe I just said that…)

On a lighter note, sad to say, I had to take the nipple piercings out in June. I had them for little over a year, but yet they still did not feel quite completely healed, and itched like crazy. If it wasn’t for Will, I probably would have stuck it out, but since I knew the piercings were a turn off to him, I decided to take them out.

On an even better note, I have noticed that my mom and I get along a lot better since I have moved out. We never did communicate well when I lived there, and when I was there I always shut myself up in my room. However, I find myself stopping by more often. We can talk now without getting into some stupid argument, it’s nice.

Also, look forward to some posts featuring erotica. Some entries will be from real hook ups, others imagination. I look forward to writing them, though the ones from memory will be a little bit harder to write, since they happened over a year ago. (Yes, it has been that long for any type of naughtiness in my life).

Speaking of naughty, the other night when I was going through past posts, getting ideas, refreshing my memory one some things, I came across a very interesting post. In this post, I talked about placing my free hand on my throat at the start of an orgasm and how much more intense it made everything. I tried that again that night, and it was everything I imagined it would be and more. Let’s just hope I don’t give myself marks or actually hurt myself.

Update and Apologies

Damn, it has been a long time since I have updated. From here on out, I cannot guarantee very much. Sadly, I have gotten out of the blogging routine. A lot has changed since I last updated, in like what, May? Damn, so much to catch up on, so I will make this brief.

In May my cousins found a car for me at a very good deal, and between my mom, them, and me promising to housesit for life, it is now mine, completely paid off. It is an ’88 Honda Accord. I love it.

In August, the day after my birthday, I moved in with Will. We found a very nice apartment with his best friend. I love it. Each day I am here, it feels more and more right.

Will is still very insistent on waiting til marriage to do anything. sometimes it drives me nuts, and I still crave that intimacy I used to have, no matter how impersonal it may have been with others… I still miss some activities. Lately I have been trying to wank those feelings away, but it has only seemed to have made my cravings more intense. That sucks.

About a month ago, Lucy snuck up behind me, got too close, and I ended up elbowing her in the mouth. As unintentional as it was, it still felt great. She has not carpooled with Will since, oh, I think June or July. You can imagine how happy I am over that.

Since June I picked up a second job, working bingo two days a week, as well as still doing janitorial. At first I loved bingo and working it, but I have come to find that I hate it. At least with the manager running it. I will not go on about it here, but I will say that my boss in there talks to me like I am five years old, making me more and more crazy, more and more desperate to get out of there. I am working on doing that as gracefully as I can.

Again, I must apologize for just kind of disappearing. Honestly, I haven’t had much to write about. Especially how this was created as a sex blog, when I was getting some. However, as of previously stated news, I am not getting any.

However, I do still owe Babeland a review for something they sent me way too long ago. I have not forgotten, I just have not had the time to post/nor test. I plan on posting that review after this post.

I will try to get back into blogging, because I am really starting to miss that outlet. And, due to certain discoveries, I may even post some never before seen stories from my year of experimenting and fun.

I sure do hope I still have some readers left. If not, it is all right, it is my fault for falling off the face of the earth.

Selfish Bitch

Yes, that’s right, I feel like a selfish bitch.  Why, you are probably wondering, am I using such harsh words (and updating for that matter…)? Well, here goes. I am updating because this is a place that I know I can vent, especially when my friends are tired of hearing about my selfishness issues.

So, what am I feeling so damn selfish about? My man and the time I get to spend with him. You see, a few months back he came over, and as we were cooking dinner together, he informed me he was going to start carpooling (as in him giving a ride to and from work) with a girl in my department. I gave a short “ahh, ok?” when in my head I was irritated as hell.
I decided to let it go, as much as I could because I knew if I said something about how much I hated the idea, he might feel or think that I don’t trust him. Which in fact I trust both of them. I trust him and how much he loves me by the way he looks in my eyes, and I trust her because of how much she goes off about her boyfriend.

So, if I trust them both, what’s my problem? I will tell you. I will warn you though, its complete bullshit reasons that boil down to my selfishness. I thought it was jealousy, and maybe a part of it is, but the most of it is selfishness. I don’t want to share my man; in any way, even if it is strictly work related.

My reasoning for this is several reasons (all based on my selfishness I assume): Number one, he works graveyard shift, and I am on day shift. This means that our time together is very limited, so we only see each other once a week. I love my time with him, but really wish it was more. It used to be more until the carpooling started. Secondly, she lives on the other side of town from him, making picking up and dropping her off an extra twenty minutes out of his way to do so.

This is time that we used to spend together, either in person or on the phone. After school I used to stop by his place once he woke up and he would drive me home on his way to work. There is not enough room in the pick-up for her and me. (I do not say that in a derogatory way (maybe a little) but really, there is not enough room).

However, a month ago they changed his shift to swing. I was tickled pink. This meant more time with him, as in almost every day, AND he wasn’t carpooling with HER anymore. (I will call her Lucy).

So, the other night was his first night back on graveyard shift.  I asked him if he was gonna be carpooling again. Of course, the answer was yes. I let it stew for a few days, knowing I needed to say something, but not wanting to make it sound like it was a trust issue. The other night I ended up voicing my concern of how does he expect we can spend more time together like he said if he is going to be carpooling. He thought about it for a second, but then just kind of shrugged it off, saying its “only three of the five days he works, two of which I stay at my cousins.” *Sigh*… he probably does have a point, but the first night he drives her is my night off, and the second night I used to get a ride with him to my cousin’s, leaving the last night fair game.

I really wish I could stop thinking about how much it bugs me. The more I think about it, the more I want to break something; its pure selfishness. This situation and me venting about it has caused me to get some major instant bad karma as well. The stories are actually kind of funny. Yes, I do believe in karma.

The first time I noticed karma get me was when they first started carpooling, one of the toilets on shift kept flooding, making her night miserable. I got a kick out of her bad night. The next day karma got me by her mentioning several times about my boyfriend, i.e. things they have in common, her happy to go home soon, glad he was getting off soon, etc.

The other day I was venting to a friend about the carpooling starting up again, and as soon as I brought up my selfish reasons on why I hate the idea, I slipped and fell on my ass. Yes it hurt, my ass is bruised, but it was funny and awesome timing. I stopped venting for the time being.

I began venting to someone again today, and then he called, saying he was going to stop by on his way to work tonight to get something. He made it a point to mention it would be slightly later because he has to pick Lucy up first. I really wish I had waited to say something about him picking up what he needed until this weekend when I would not be home. That way I would not have to see her in his pickup, or them driving off together. Just typing this irks me, because as I type, he’s leaving to go pick her up.

One of these days when I run into her at work, I would love to ask her how she would feel if her boyfriend gave another girl a ride to work, especially if it meant that their time together would be cut down to once a week of seeing each other.

However, I know if I do say something to her, it would get back to my boyfriend some how, or worse yet, they would think I don’t trust them; which leaves me back at square one.

So I ask you dear readers (the few that I believe I still have left), how do I get this out of my mind? How can I get over my selfishness? I really don’t like this angry feeling I get when I think about it. I feel childish and bitchy. Please help with any advice. I am sure someone has been in a similar situation.

Long Time No Update

Sorry guys for my lack of updating. The lack of updates is due to several reasons. Number one is the fact that I have no time to really post. Secondly, my boyfriend still does not know about this blog, and I am sure he never will. He knows I write reviews and erotica, but he does not know how much deeper it goes than that.

I have went through and took out the nude pics of me. I just didn’t feel right having them up here, especially in case he ever happens to stumble across this site.

I am debating whether or not taking down the majority of the stuff, or just deleting this place altogether. I would rather not do that though. This blog has helped me grow so much. Not only did I learn a lot of lessons (some good, some bad), I also met some really nice people who gave me some of the best advice when I needed it the most. You, my readers, also helped give me a huge confidence boost from the positive comments on pictures.

As for my life now, things are amazing with Will. I could not ask for more with this guy. I really feel like there is something there with us. We are still taking things very slow (which I have gotten used to). I must say, before him, my reputation for sleepovers was quite…naughty. He has totally killed that reputation. Also, since we got together, Toby has left me alone. I still worry he might slip up and say something, but I don’t think that will happen.

For now I will keep things up and running, especially for reviews.

Update on Will

Hello dear readers. Sorry I have been a bad blogger and not updated in forever. I have been busy with school and trying to win over Will (who is now my boyfriend I am happy to say).

So, how did I finally win him over? A lot of inviting him over and cooking him dinner. One night as we sat together on my bed watching a movie he put his arm around me, and we cuddled the rest of the movie. That night when he left he gave me a kiss on the cheek as we hugged goodbye. I kissed him back on his cheek, but then he left.

The next time was the same thing. A week later we were watching a movie and after the movie, we stayed cuddling, smiling into each others eyes. I couldn’t take it anymore, and decided to take a leap and kissed him on his forehead. As soon as I did that, his lips were on mine.

We kissed a lot, but he never let it go farther than that, because he left soon. The next day he met me at school and he waited for me to get out of class, then he took me to his place and he cooked me dinner. After dinner, we cuddled and kissed some more. That night when he was driving me home I asked him if he considered us more than friends, and he said yes.

A week later I got to meet his parents at his birthday dinner. They seem like really nice people.

I really feel like there could be something there with Will and I, though I know it is too soon to tell. I worry about some things about me that he doesn’t know, things like how I spent the past year before him, this blog, etc.

One difficult thing I find in this slowly growing relationship is the fact that we are on different schedules. He works graveyard and I work day shift. Hanging out sometimes seems difficult. He also has never had a serious girlfriend, making me a first for a lot of things for him. It makes me crazy paranoid when he never calls, and I am afraid to call him in case he is sleeping. I am afraid that Toby gave me some trust issues.

Sometimes, because of our different schedules, I wonder if it is really gonna work with us. However, I always push that thought away because I like him too much to not give him a chance and a little extra slack. Like I said, he is new to this, and needs a little training.   =P   So, any advice you could give me on making a new relationship like this work? Anything about different schedules, someone being new to everything, how did you make it work. I know that there is still a lot to be learned about each other, that will happen over time, but how did you, dear readers, make it work? I really like this guy.

I like that things are going slowly, but smoothly. Something I have always needed is a guy to take it slow with me. It may drive me nuts in the moment when I want to take things further, but can’t, but afterwards I am glad things are going slowly. Its…comforting.

A Short Update

Sorry it has been so long since my last update. I have just been so busy with work and all.

So, you might be wondering what happened with the Toby thing. It took a while to get over it. At first I was shocked, then I was pissed, then I just didn’t really care and see it now as an opportunity to move on and try new stuff.

It took him two weeks to message me after the incident. He asked how I was, what I had been up to, and my feelings about what happened. I told him straight up that I was pissed at first, but over it now and moving on. I decided to use him like he used me, and learn as much as I could. What I like, what I don’t like. I agreed to hang out with him again.

Well, female troubles gave me some hesitancy at first, but then we decided I could suck him then and do other stuff next time. For once, it was actually hot. It was hot because he had to spend more time getting me worked up. However, I think that could also have been just from my pure horniness.

In other news, today is my 21st birthday. My dad called me for the first time in ages and asked if he could take me to dinner with my stepmom and buy me a few drinks. I accepted, surprised, but happy.

I am still waiting to hear back from Brent, as I would much rather spend my time with him than with Toby. He messaged me a week after the barbecue we went to and said he would be back in August, and would love to hang out again then. Its two weeks into August and still no word.

I have also been kicking the idea around about asking Anna and Nathan if they would be interested in another threesome, this time we could do more since I lost the V-card.

Update

I have a bunch of half finished posts to write. I have tried to steer toward real life posts, things that have actually happened, but nothing too eventful. Most of the posts I am meaning to finish are some filler posts of erotica.

However, I am hesitant to posts these/finish them. This is mainly because I am afraid of seeming like I am repeating myself, or seeming boring. I am however, considering putting up some things I wrote back in high school, some erotic things. My writing has evolved so much, especially in the language I use.

As a mini update of things to come, I did get some girl/girl action the other night. Pictures will be included.
Toby caught me at work a couple weeks ago and asked me to resend a friend request because he can add me now. I did, and he accepted, though I never see him anymore, so I am pretty much over him.

I got my first anal toy, a small anal plug. I have not used it yet, but when I do, I will let you know how it worked. I also got some other new, more expensive toys. Toys such as the Mia, Gigi, and the Pure wand. So far the Pure wand is my favorite.

Tomorrow I will also have a post telling about my latest encounter with Forbidden Fruit, who seems to be less Forbidden.