An Attempt to Kill the Excessive Horniness

Last Wednesday, on my Friday, I was tired of the “Girl Boner” problem I was having. No amount of masturbation was helping. I was desperate, so I charged the batteries to my wireless bullet and put it in my panties, the remote in my pocket.

I had a grin on my face walking to work, feeling the buzz on my clit. The faster I walked, the closer to orgasm I felt.I never let myself get too close, as I didn’t feel quite ready to explain any sudden, strange looks on my face to my coworkers.

All night, I would play with the on and off switch of the remote. I noticed that I felt nothing while sitting, and felt the most when walking. The motions of walking made the bullet feel like it does when I have it in my hands on my clit in bed.

All night, I would gauge my arousal. I would guess how close I was to orgasm, using a scale of 1-10, 10 being orgasm. I figured I would let myself get up to 7 before turning the vibrator off. Oh, I sooo did not want to turn it off. I always felt a rush of excitement when i flipped the off switch on the remote and there was a pause in communication before the bullet turned off. Once the bullet turned off, the excitement turned into disappointment and I had to stop myself from turnning it back on.

Sadly, about halfway through the night, the bullet started to die. I don’t know if it was the bullet or the batteries, but the connection would seem to short out. It went from steady vibrations, to a broken vibration, like it was on a pulse setting. It started to be more of an irritation than anything, never getting my arousal.

I am happy to say though, the night was a success. The horniness went away. Well, at least the excessive horniness. I still really want to have sex, I still am constantly wetter than usual, but it is no longer painful. I can’t wait until my next lay, whenever that may be. I kind of gave up on D, as I haven’t heard from him in over a month. I am almost desperate enough to want to call Toby up…

Insecure

So, there is this amazingly gorgeous, hot, and single guy at work. We kinda talk, joke around. Recently he discovered how jumpy I am, so he always takes up on the opportunity to scare me. I really want to ask him to hang out. Maybe play some video games, watch a movie, or something else that’s casual (hehe, but you know I just want in his pants).

I want to ask him to hang out so bad that I even have my name and number written down, ready to give him if he says yes. The thing is, I just feel so insecure around him. He’s that good looking in my opinion.

He’s very much fit, while I am not. He’s got perfect teeth, mine are crooked with lots of overbite and underbite. I just feel like he’s way out of my league. People tend to date people with similar looks. I look the total opposite from him.

I have had lots of chances to ask him, times when we are alone (at least as alone as we can be at work), but I chicken out everytime. I am just so scared of him making it awkward if he says no. I know if he did say no, I would just say “Ok,” and move on. It will only be awkward if we make it awkward. If he makes it awkward, then I am SOL and I will lose someone to chat with at work.

Other times I hesitate because he says things that make me really wonder if I want to hang out with this guy. Hes always complaining about work, how bored he is, hes always broke, he hates paying rent and spending money, etc. He says he doesn’t have a girlfriend because he doesn’t want to have to spend money on her. Honestly, he sounds like a huge jackass. Yet I am still very much attracted, and so very much insecure about it.

I think I am gonna try making a new Craigslist ad, only this time be a little bit more honest about my weight, and tell them not to bother if they can’t handle a BBW.

Lucky

We mentioned a quickie in our texting last week, but at the time we didn’t have enough time to be that quick. He said that if I was lucky, on Sunday he would come over after he got off work, before I went to work.

I woke up Sunday afternoon feeling very lucky. I brushed my hair, put on my sexiest red thong, and favorite red negligee. Over those I put on some blue jeans and a very see through, low-cut white shirt. “Yeah, that doesn’t look obvious,” I chuckled to myself as I played with the lighting in my room, waiting for him to arrive.

There would be no time for our usual ice breaker movie/dinner. Oh, how I wanted to jump his bones, but a small part of me was nervous inside still, my shy side. He gave a light knock on the door.

I opened the door to let him in, and before I even had the door shut, his lips were on mine. He kissed me on the mouth, sucking on my bottom lip,  traveling to my neck, nibbling, biting, and kissing all over.

I led him over to my bed, where I took off his sweater, and then his shirt, running my hands and nails all over his back. I took off my white shirt and tossed it to the side.

“Ooo, that’s sexy,” he said, seeing my negligee and smiling before kissing me some more.

“Mmm, thank you,” I replied as I undid his belt and pants to let them fall down. We kissed some more, and he started rubbing between my legs. I pulled down his underwear and began massaging his cock with my hand. He carefully lifted off my negligee, being mindful of my still fresh nipple piercings.

I gently pushed him onto the bed and motioned for him to lay back against the pillows. Once he was situated, I sat next to him, leaned over his cock and went to work with my mouth. I teased the tip with my tongue, and as my tongue moved lower, so did my mouth. I used my left hand/wrist to hold me up, while I used my right hand to hold the base of his cock. I tried to multitask by stroking it up and down while sucking on the head, but could not keep up the rhythm.

I changed my tongue rhythm, and changed my bobbing rhythm. I loved hearing him moan in pleasure. As I sucked, he ran his hand over my leg and thigh. Oh, that felt so nice.

Because my wrist became numb from using it to hold myself up, I sat up and smiled at him. He pulled himself forward and kissed me some more, massaging my tits with his hands, careful of my piercings. His kisses got deeper and more passionate, even thrusting his tongue in my mouth. I went nuts and kissed him back even more aggressively, gently nibbling and sucking on his bottom lip.

After we calmed down from the kissing, I went back to work, this time curling myself up next to him, using a pillow as support. I wrapped my left hand around the base of his cock and lowered my mouth, teasing and licking with my tongue on his head. Slowly, I took more of him in my mouth and began bobbing my head up and down his hard cock. He started moaning for my again, and running his hand over the parts of my body he could reach.

I sucked him for another good 5 minutes (maybe more, I was not trying to look at the time), until my neck started to cramp from the movements it was not used to. I sat up, and we kissed some more. He moved his body so that he was next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist, to pull me in for a closer kiss.

After making out for a minute or two, he sat up to remove my pants. He ran his finger along my pussy, feeling my clit, then dipping two fingers into my very wet vagina. He thrusted his fingers in and out, slowly at first, then picking up speed when I got even wetter. He moved his now soaked fingers and rubbed circles around my clit, using the slightest pressure at first, and applying more as each small circle completed. He was kissing me at the same time his fingers were playing with my pussy.

Soon, his fingers were back inside me, fucking me even faster. “Mmm, that feels so good,” I moaned softly. With that, he sat up once more and reached for a condom at the side of my bed. Once it was on, he asked me if I wanted to be on top. I said “Sure, though I haven’t had much experience with it,” I answered slowly. “Thats ok, I’ll warm you up,” he said, and with that he entered me.

His first thrust banged my head against the footboard of my bed, so he grabbed my hips and scooted me down. He thrust into me again, this time without my head hitting anything. He picked up his pace and went to work.

I scratched my fingers down his back as his cock pounded my pussy, both of us breathing heavily and moaning. It had been a long time since my breathing became audible and I moaned during sex. It felt amazing. I did not try to quiet myself, though I did not get too loud.

He thrust deep, he thrust shallow. He moved his hips from side to side, letting his cock get every angle of my pussy. He rode me, and he rode me hard. I felt the pressure of my g-spot fill, as his cock tends to hit my g-spot perfectly. I tried to ignore the sensation that sometimes felt overwhelming, and concentrated on the good. I wrapped my hands around the footboard of my bed, moving my body with his, moaning and breathing heavily.

After a very amazing 15 minutes (at least, possibly more), he was ready to cum. He pulled me closer, and bent his head to kiss me, then gave several last deep, slow thrusts. We kissed some more, then I hurried to get dressed for work, and him for home. We chatted a bit, then it was time to go.

I was in a great mood that night, grinning from ear to ear. One coworker asked why I was glowing. I told them I was just in a really good mood from having an awesome day. I think everyone knew, or at least had an idea that I had just gotten VERY lucky in bed. I have to say that was some of the best sex I have had in over 2 years. Thank you D, you are great!

Cumming Attractions

When I started my blog back up again, I reposted all of my old blog entries as well as read through them all. Several posts fascinated me, particularly the ones about my wireless bullet being used at work.

The other night at work, the idea of doing that again has been a real turn on. I think I will have to get it out again and do just that. There will definitely be an update.

The Break Up

On October 31, 2011, Will broke up with me. He felt like I was getting in the way of his job. It started with him coming up to me on the night of the 29th and telling me that the next Friday at 6 he would be in “town.” I asked if he was going with friends, doing errands, or going out with coworkers. He told me he didn’t think he could tell me.

I began to feel pissed off, and asked if it was work related or not. He said he couldn’t tell me and stormed out. The next morning after we got off work, we began arguing. I told him that it pisses me off when he can’t tell me the littlest thing, things that seem small to me are huge to him because he takes his job too seriously. He told me that that is where I go wrong, and that I need to quit thinking about his job like that.

To prove a point, he told me he was going on a hot sate that night. I felt like I hated him at that moment. He knew that cheating is the one thing I have no tolerance for. He seemed to think this would help him prove his point that “I make him feel like hes cheating on me sometimes.” What the fuck does that mean? Who the hell does that?

Since I could no longer talk, I was so furious in tears, he made pancakes for us, humming happily to himself. Things seemed fine, with him at least. We ate, took a shower together, and went to sleep. Well, he went to sleep. I kept crying. I cried myself to sleep, I woke up crying. When he woke up for the day, I was still crying and he went into the computer room to play his games. I stayed in bed and cried until it was almost time to go to work.

I finally went into the room where he was, to tell him I was worried about us. He said there was nothing to worry about, that he would never leave me. I told him I wasn’t so sure. He hugged me and I broke down again. I told him I would be ok once Friday was over with. He told me not to do anything drastic until then. “Like what, pack my shit and move out?” I asked bitterly. He said “Yes, like that.”

We got dressed and went to work. During work, I started to feel ok. I began to tell myself he wouldn’t do this to us if it wasn’t work related. I was feeling really good about things by the time work was over. However, he was mad again. He told me on the way home he was going to sleep in the spare room to think things over.

When we got home, I was crying again, trying to reason with him. We still undressed each other, we still took our shower together, but instead of getting in bed together, I left and went to my mom’s to sleep. I didn’t sleep at all that day. I spent the day crying, worrying that I was going to lose him.

He finally called for me to go home. He told me over the phone that he thought things over and decided that we did need to break up. I cried. I begged for him to take me back. I felt pathetic. He said he wanted to stay friends, and try to stay room mates. I told him it would be hard, but I was willing to give it a try.

Living with your ex is not easy. It was hard doing stuff separately rather than together (undressing, showering, cooking, etc). Once in a while old habits would sneak up on us though. We would find ourselves in a kiss, or exchanging I love you’s. It hurt a lot when I walked in the spare room to use the bathroom and I saw him jerking off. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. That used to be my job to get him off (a different post, I promise). However, harder than all of that, was watching him fall out of love with me so easily.

He really did feel like I was making him choose between me or his job. His coworkers asked about us soon after the break up. I told them what happened. They all called him an idiot, and told me it was a dinner for their department. Just because he couldn’t invite me didn’t mean he couldn’t tell me about it. I told him I knew it was a dinner, and he freaked out and told me we had no chance together, ever after that. That day when he woke up he went out to find his own place.

I ended up packing his shit, because he was too lazy playing on his computer to do it himself. It was hard to see him go, but at the same time it was a relief. I ended up asking myself why I was having such a hard time letting go, when in all honesty I haven’t been that happy with him that last few months. I always felt like his computer was more important, and our sex life was shaky to begin with. That was when I really started letting go.

We are trying to stay friends, though its hard. I always dread seeing him at work, and I hate it when he has mail still come here sometimes, meaning he has to come and get it. However, I end up enjoying his company more than I thought I would, though I feel worse all over again after he leaves.

For a while I hated sleeping because all I did was dream that we were back together, then woke up realizing how alone I was. I don’t dream about him so much anymore. Its easier to sleep, and I am starting to enjoy that I don’t have to clean up after anyone but myself.

Update and Apologies

Damn, it has been a long time since I have updated. From here on out, I cannot guarantee very much. Sadly, I have gotten out of the blogging routine. A lot has changed since I last updated, in like what, May? Damn, so much to catch up on, so I will make this brief.

In May my cousins found a car for me at a very good deal, and between my mom, them, and me promising to housesit for life, it is now mine, completely paid off. It is an ’88 Honda Accord. I love it.

In August, the day after my birthday, I moved in with Will. We found a very nice apartment with his best friend. I love it. Each day I am here, it feels more and more right.

Will is still very insistent on waiting til marriage to do anything. sometimes it drives me nuts, and I still crave that intimacy I used to have, no matter how impersonal it may have been with others… I still miss some activities. Lately I have been trying to wank those feelings away, but it has only seemed to have made my cravings more intense. That sucks.

About a month ago, Lucy snuck up behind me, got too close, and I ended up elbowing her in the mouth. As unintentional as it was, it still felt great. She has not carpooled with Will since, oh, I think June or July. You can imagine how happy I am over that.

Since June I picked up a second job, working bingo two days a week, as well as still doing janitorial. At first I loved bingo and working it, but I have come to find that I hate it. At least with the manager running it. I will not go on about it here, but I will say that my boss in there talks to me like I am five years old, making me more and more crazy, more and more desperate to get out of there. I am working on doing that as gracefully as I can.

Again, I must apologize for just kind of disappearing. Honestly, I haven’t had much to write about. Especially how this was created as a sex blog, when I was getting some. However, as of previously stated news, I am not getting any.

However, I do still owe Babeland a review for something they sent me way too long ago. I have not forgotten, I just have not had the time to post/nor test. I plan on posting that review after this post.

I will try to get back into blogging, because I am really starting to miss that outlet. And, due to certain discoveries, I may even post some never before seen stories from my year of experimenting and fun.

I sure do hope I still have some readers left. If not, it is all right, it is my fault for falling off the face of the earth.

Bad Karma

As I said in my last post, I have been experiencing some bad karma. This is with reason, as I have been very selfish and greedy. I have also told anyone that would listen that was not my amazing boyfriend, Will. Today however, karma made me realize that I should be happy with any time I get with Will, and not to be greedy for more. I am working on this, especially since my wakeup call today.

You see, I look forward to Sundays. They are my motivation for getting through my work weekend, as that is the day that Will comes over and we cook dinner, play games, watch movies and sleep in each other’s arms. However, I came to work today to see a bummed look on Will’s face. I asked him what was wrong.

Apparently he has to fill in for his coworker Sunday night, the one night we have together. On top of that, we won’t get Monday together because he has a mandatory class for work that morning, making him have to be up for over 24 hours, after working and going to the class right after.

I spent the day dwelling on this, pissed off and angry at our place of employment. I was especially irritated for his sake because he just came back from a shift change, having one day off, them making him work six days, to only have one day off again. It just seems so unfair. Sure, it might be overtime, but damn it, they sometimes treat the employees like they have no lives.

I finally got a chance to talk to Will when he woke up. Hanging out is definitely not going to happen. He is okay with working overtime, because he feels it will pay off eventually when we do find our own place and I get my own car. This made me feel very guilty, because with the way he worded it, it sounds like he is doing this for us. This is when I realized karma was getting me back for being selfish, taking for granted the time we have together.

I finally then gathered up the courage to tell him how I really feel. As I said in my last post, I have been having trouble telling him how I feel without making it sound like a trust/jealousy issue. I told him that I felt us not being able to spend time together was my bad karma. He didn‘t say anything, so I asked if he wanted me to explain. He said yes.

I told him this: “I will be honest. I have been feeling very selfish and greedy about the time we get to spend together, or not together for that matter. I have also been feeling very resentful and blaming the carpooling for time that we could spend together, but instead he’s driving her.”

He took that better than I expected, and said that this has made him realize that we have to make time, not try to find it, because if we try to find time, we won’t. I am not sure what this will mean, whether or not the carpooling will stop. I hope it does, but if it doesn’t, I need to quit bitching about it to other people and get over it. I need to be happy with what time we can get.

I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulder by telling him. It was something I felt I needed to tell him, but with the right words. I believe karma helped me find the right words for finally coming to my senses somewhat and realizing what I need to be happy for, not dwelling on wanting more.

Also, writing has helped a lot again, as I thought it would. I actually kind of missed it. I might have to keep it up. It may not continue with the naughty stuff, but I still need to write a long overdue review, and this is a nice place to vent.

Tonight, feeling sorry for myself, but better than I have been since he started back on graveyard shift, I needed to cry.

However, I could not seem to bring enough tear provoking thoughts. I thought a nice drama would help, a good tear jerker on Netflix. I found a movie in that category, but it didn’t make me cry. It came close, but never enough to get me there. However, as soon as I got done with the first paragraph in this entry, the tears started rolling. Not as much as I was hoping, but enough to keep myself together until I can either get over this slight depression or until I find something that really gives me something to cry about.

As for this post, I am gonna end it here, as I have to get up in less than 5 hours for work, though I can’t sleep.

Selfish Bitch

Yes, that’s right, I feel like a selfish bitch.  Why, you are probably wondering, am I using such harsh words (and updating for that matter…)? Well, here goes. I am updating because this is a place that I know I can vent, especially when my friends are tired of hearing about my selfishness issues.

So, what am I feeling so damn selfish about? My man and the time I get to spend with him. You see, a few months back he came over, and as we were cooking dinner together, he informed me he was going to start carpooling (as in him giving a ride to and from work) with a girl in my department. I gave a short “ahh, ok?” when in my head I was irritated as hell.
I decided to let it go, as much as I could because I knew if I said something about how much I hated the idea, he might feel or think that I don’t trust him. Which in fact I trust both of them. I trust him and how much he loves me by the way he looks in my eyes, and I trust her because of how much she goes off about her boyfriend.

So, if I trust them both, what’s my problem? I will tell you. I will warn you though, its complete bullshit reasons that boil down to my selfishness. I thought it was jealousy, and maybe a part of it is, but the most of it is selfishness. I don’t want to share my man; in any way, even if it is strictly work related.

My reasoning for this is several reasons (all based on my selfishness I assume): Number one, he works graveyard shift, and I am on day shift. This means that our time together is very limited, so we only see each other once a week. I love my time with him, but really wish it was more. It used to be more until the carpooling started. Secondly, she lives on the other side of town from him, making picking up and dropping her off an extra twenty minutes out of his way to do so.

This is time that we used to spend together, either in person or on the phone. After school I used to stop by his place once he woke up and he would drive me home on his way to work. There is not enough room in the pick-up for her and me. (I do not say that in a derogatory way (maybe a little) but really, there is not enough room).

However, a month ago they changed his shift to swing. I was tickled pink. This meant more time with him, as in almost every day, AND he wasn’t carpooling with HER anymore. (I will call her Lucy).

So, the other night was his first night back on graveyard shift.  I asked him if he was gonna be carpooling again. Of course, the answer was yes. I let it stew for a few days, knowing I needed to say something, but not wanting to make it sound like it was a trust issue. The other night I ended up voicing my concern of how does he expect we can spend more time together like he said if he is going to be carpooling. He thought about it for a second, but then just kind of shrugged it off, saying its “only three of the five days he works, two of which I stay at my cousins.” *Sigh*… he probably does have a point, but the first night he drives her is my night off, and the second night I used to get a ride with him to my cousin’s, leaving the last night fair game.

I really wish I could stop thinking about how much it bugs me. The more I think about it, the more I want to break something; its pure selfishness. This situation and me venting about it has caused me to get some major instant bad karma as well. The stories are actually kind of funny. Yes, I do believe in karma.

The first time I noticed karma get me was when they first started carpooling, one of the toilets on shift kept flooding, making her night miserable. I got a kick out of her bad night. The next day karma got me by her mentioning several times about my boyfriend, i.e. things they have in common, her happy to go home soon, glad he was getting off soon, etc.

The other day I was venting to a friend about the carpooling starting up again, and as soon as I brought up my selfish reasons on why I hate the idea, I slipped and fell on my ass. Yes it hurt, my ass is bruised, but it was funny and awesome timing. I stopped venting for the time being.

I began venting to someone again today, and then he called, saying he was going to stop by on his way to work tonight to get something. He made it a point to mention it would be slightly later because he has to pick Lucy up first. I really wish I had waited to say something about him picking up what he needed until this weekend when I would not be home. That way I would not have to see her in his pickup, or them driving off together. Just typing this irks me, because as I type, he’s leaving to go pick her up.

One of these days when I run into her at work, I would love to ask her how she would feel if her boyfriend gave another girl a ride to work, especially if it meant that their time together would be cut down to once a week of seeing each other.

However, I know if I do say something to her, it would get back to my boyfriend some how, or worse yet, they would think I don’t trust them; which leaves me back at square one.

So I ask you dear readers (the few that I believe I still have left), how do I get this out of my mind? How can I get over my selfishness? I really don’t like this angry feeling I get when I think about it. I feel childish and bitchy. Please help with any advice. I am sure someone has been in a similar situation.

Interesting…Kinda

The other day at work was interesting, to say the least. First off, I walked in and Toby was all smiles. I was pleasant to him, though deep down I am a little irritated for what happened last week.

About an hour later, as I am cleaning windows at the front door, a security guard walked up and opened the door I was cleaning. Everyone knows that is a huge pet peeve of mine, which is why she did it. I complained, and then she said that I “was lucky she didn’t do this,” and smacked my ass.

What the fuck? I said to her that was harassment as she walked away laughing. The other near by security guard then informed me that it was only harassment if she enjoyed it. I didn’t really care, it was kind of funny. However that is not the first time I got my ass smacked at work.

Last year when I worked graveyards and got a call to go clean a spill in the bar a drunk, dancing customer started smacking my ass, thinking I was one of her friends. I was a little traumatized at first, and when I told security about it they just laughed at me.

The only time security ever really came close to offending me was a few weeks ago when one was joking with me and said something along the lines of “well, it’s because you’re easy.” I reminded him that his comment was sexual harassment and he just shrugged it off. I knew he was joking, but he really had no idea…

So, back to this so called interesting day at work…

We have these automatic paper towel dispensers that require batteries. Well, one of the dispensers in my bathroom was out, so I went to go find maintenance. When I asked where the batteries were so that I could replace the ones in the dispenser, he informed me that no, he would not tell me where the batteries were…

He was joking, and eventually showed me, but I just thought it was a little ironic because he was right, I really shouldn’t know where the batteries are.

In other news, I tried calling Brent several times but have gotten no response.

Also, Toby texted me the other night asking if he could pick me up after he got off work. I said no because I had plans early that morning plus I “had female troubles.” I am so glad he didn’t press the issue and try to convince me that “female problems” didn’t bother him.

Toby Update

So, of course you remember Toby. He has been mentioned in my most recent posts. A few days ago I found him on MySpace and sent a friend request that he never accepted (but was online afterwards). It took quite a few people to convince me, but I finally got the balls and good timing to ask him what was up.

I chatted nonchalantly about nothing, then randomly asked if he had a MySpace (because people suggested he may not have recognized me…yeah, it sounds stupid now). Anyways, he replies with “Uh, yeah. You found me.” Uh, yeah, duh. So then my stupid blond self says “Oh, I thought that was you. I sent a friend request. Did you get it?” Come on, Tashamber, what the fuck? I say to myself now. Of course he got the friend request because as he said, “I found him.”

Well, he was very nice about my dumbass-ish-ness. He kindly explained something about how his computer freezes when he logs in and it took away the request. Yeah, It sounded like bullshit to me, but what ever. Seriously though, why couldn’t he just say he denied me and send me on my way?

So, this is the kicker. The next night (last night) I come out to get some fresh air. I am not even outside five minutes when he bluntly asks me what possessed me to date a 43 year old man. What the fuck? I just kind of drop my jaw in disbelief. “Where did that come from?” I asked. He then just said he heard it recently, and wanted to know why. What the fuck? Him asking that pissed me off. Not the fact that he was asking, but at whoever told him. Yeah, work sucks when it comes to gossip.

At this point I am just shocked. Before I answered, I asked him where he heard that. He said he couldn’t tell me. So finally I thought of a way to tell him without saying too much. I tell him that it just kind of happened. I didn’t know what else to say, especially since I didn’t want my answer to get back to the wrong people.

Well, I thought about it, and I think by him finding that out, he had to have been asking about me, wanting to know more about me. That doesn’t bother me, though I am sure it should. The thing that bothers me is not knowing who is saying what about me.

So, I decide that since he asked me the most personal question, I got the balls to press a little further on the MySpace thing. I ask him exactly what was going on with his computer. He explained again. I then got even more balls and asked him if he was gonna deny or accept. He said accept, and that he only denies people if he doesn’t know them or if they piss him off. Okay, that seems good.

But then he says this: “Yeah, I was with my friend and he asked who you were. I just said it was someone from work… She likes toys.” Oh my fucking God! What?!?! My jaw dropped and he started laughing and then told me he was joking. Oh man… If only he knew. Though, we were joking about handcuffs and spankings earlier that night. That is where he got the idea to say that, to see what I would do.

This makes me think, what the hell is this guy thinking? Is he flirting with me? Or, is he just being a smartass? I keep on getting so many mixed signals. The double meanings are really staring to get to me too. I enjoy them, but seriously, things can only get so far. He has said so many things, as well have I, which we could get in trouble for sexual harassment if the wrong people got involved.

Help me out readers. What do you see in this? Specifically the part about him asking about my past relationship and the toy comment. Is he flirting, or just being a jerk? It is so hard for me to tell these things…